If I won the lottery…


A favourite Friday afternoon discussion at the office happens at around 2pm, after everybody has had lunch and the boss returns with our lottery syndicate numbers. Seven rows a week plus seven rows on the Euromillions if the motion is carried by a general consensus.

The discussion is an orgy of greed, aspiration and gluttony. That of the possibilities open to us if we won the lottery jackpot. Or even just a couple of hundred thousand… that would do nicely.

Obviously enough, the first thing people tend to go for is a holiday. After all, we do work in the business of writing about them. So a holiday in the Caribbean or the Indian Ocean, sometimes a cruise. These things all seem to vary only slightly from person to person. According to the National Lottery website, a holiday is indeed one of the first things a jackpot winner will buy. Probably to get away from home and work and enjoy the cash before all the serious stuff happens. And the serious stuff follows on very quickly after that. People camping outside winners’ homes and writing them letters, approaching them doing the weekly shop. Not something to look forward to but certainly a symptom of being given all that money so quickly.

But you are surely responsible for doing some good with your money? Surely the holiday should be the reward for divvying up the loot and sorting your family out first? I couldn’t relax properly knowing I still had to do all that when I came home. And even if you did want a holiday, there are too many amazing places in the world to choose from to have just one dream holiday!

So all things considered, if I were to be entreated to a little windfall of my own then here is what I would personally spend it on.

Firstly, I would hoik myself out of the mountainous debt that I am buried under thanks to two degrees and a greedy compulsion to buy things. Although I have never had a credit card, so I can’t be as bad as some (Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic series comforts me every so often in that fact).

So, after doing that I would help my parents out. Pay off the house, get the contractors in and if need be, move them to another house in the style of the old movie stars who, unable to commit to a spring clean, would up sticks and move a block away.

Then I would have to give some to my partner’s family and to him, of course… Same sort of thing.

Then I would pay for my brothers’ university fees (prospectively) and buy my partner a new car.

Then I would take a proportionate amount and give it to Christie’s Hospital in Manchester, Leicester Royal Infirmary, Barnardos and the Brooke trust (the one that helps beasts of burden in sub-Saharan Africa that always makes me cry) – all charities I care very much for and in some cases have a personal attachment to so as to dilute the feeling of wretchedness knowing it would be impossible to help everybody.

Is that all the boring stuff done yet? No, first I have to buy my way out of my contract at work and find a nice little place where myself and my partner can call home. Perhaps somewhere in Manchester near Spinningfields and all the new finance offices? A view of the Irwell perhaps? In any case, a three-bedroom with underground parking, a brand new kitchen, a sauna and a big bathtub. Then I would kit it out with John Lewis furniture and fabrics from Liberties and bits and bobs from Heels and maybe the odd indulgence of some Armani or Zara Egyptian cotton bedding. I could get the interiors of the Madinat hotel in Dubai if I wanted. All Le Creuset kitchen things. In cobalt, not burnt orange. Including the miniature heart-shaped ramekins with little lids with button-sized knobs.

Then I would buy an iPhone. I always put off upgrading my technology because there is no need with my lifestyle. I know girls my age with Blackberries who work as bar staff and don’t even use Twitter. I mean, come on.

Finally, after all my affairs were in order with work and I had a clear run knowing I could spend the next couple of years working on my book before I could plan a holiday.

Now this is where I would go (and working on holidays all day certainly does make it easy to plan where to go if money were no object).

Fly first class to Dubai on Emirates and book a private car to take us to Atlantis, The Palm for seven nights and the Madinat for another seven. There we would eat at Nobu, drink at Neo’s in town, spend a day at Sega Republic, spend a day buying stuff for the apartment, tour Dubai and the Heritage Village and all the museums and spend the rest of the time at leisure.

Then we would fly home and after another couple of months, fly out to New York, business class on Virgin Atlantic, staying at the Waldorf Astoria for five days doing all the cheesy tourist stuff including taking a whole day (perhaps longer) to explore the Met. We’d eat at the Four Seasons and go ice skating, shopping, take a limo to the Empire State Building. I’d get some diamon stud e Then home again for a short respite before the big holiday.

We’d fly ten of our friends out to Vegas for five nights and do all the amazing stuff I did when I went last. We’d stay at The Wynn Hotel and eat in all the restaurants. We’d go on the roller coaster at New York New York and go on a helicopter ride to the Grand Canyon. Drink at Dick’s Last Resort in the Excalibur and throw soggy tissues at customers (as is the custom – not because we are socially inept). Go out dancing and drinking and generally make fools of ourselves in all the casinos. Bliss. With friends, with cocktails, fancy frocks and a bit of luxury thrown in.

And then, if we had enough money left to last us a few years and keep us happy and in our luxury apartment comfortably for at least ten years then we would go to India. The one place on my list that I haven’t been to yet. We’d stay somewhere beautiful near Delhi and eat the amazing food, see the sights and bring back loads of spices, material and cooking pots for making curries at home. A culinary pilgrimage if ever there was one.

So, that is all I can think of. I feel rather like I have been binging on boutique chocolates after that. Now for some much needed frugality and a brief check of my bank statement.


2 Responses to “If I won the lottery…”

  1. 1 5kidswdisabilities

    The first thing I would do if I won the lottery was not tell anyone I won. I’d hire a lawyer to get the money and hide my identity. Then I would be free to dispense it without all of those people asking for money. (Did you ever notice that the ones who ask for it all the time are not necessarily the ones who deserve it?) Like you, I would pay off my debt. Then I would put it in the bank and spend it a little at a time on doing good deeds, (anonymously.) Think of what fun that would be!

    Lindsey Petersen

    • 2 mediaimposter

      Not that you’ve put too much thought into it or anything 🙂

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